I have to be honest and say, this feels strange to me. My journal is normally my safe space to work through everything and understand what changes I want to make and work towards.
However, I feel like my life is in a phase where I am navigating not only a huge amount of change but also I have lots of balls in the air, and I want to share how I work through them so you too can benefit from them. For context of my life. I work full time as a Head of Accounting. I am a director of two companies. I am in Trinity College pursuing an MBA in the evenings, and I have my own wellness business which I want to grow and expand into something even more special. I am married, have two step children and I am almost 40 years old.
So, where am I at today?
I woke up feeling drained, groggy, unmotivated, and frustrated.
I knew today was a day for deep journaling because this is where my head goes when I need to walk through my thought process. So here it goes.
Comparison – My Biggest Energy Zapper
I know who I am is unique. I know what I am offering in my life adds huge value to people and to the company I work for. But still, I compare myself. I compare one small part of something I am not doing as well as I feel I could, and instead of isolating that incident, I identify with that ‘weakness’ and attach it to my self-worth. I always say though, awareness is key. Now that I am aware I know I can understand it, break it down and use it as an opportunity for growth.
So, what am I comparing myself to? Progress of others. I feel I am not progressing as quickly as others. I feel my focus is not on one specific thing and so I feel like I am not making the moves I want to make.
I can’t help but notice how everyone else seems to be zooming ahead in life while I’m over here feeling like I’m stuck in neutral. It’s like I’m watching a highlight reel of everyone else’s successes while I’m just trying to figure out which direction to go in.
Scrolling through social media doesn’t help either. It’s like a constant stream of perfect lives and amazing accomplishments, and suddenly I’m knee-deep in a pool of self-doubt and FOMO.
But you know what? As I jot down these thoughts, I’m starting to realise that comparing myself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. We’re all on our own paths, doing our own thing, and there’s no one-size-fits-all measure of success.
Life isn’t a sprint; it’s more like a marathon with a bunch of detours and pit stops along the way. And yeah, maybe my journey looks a little different from everyone else’s, but that’s what makes it mine. I don’t think I would be happy to live someone else’s life!!!
Looking at the Facts:
I always find when I look at the facts, the feelings of frustration lessen. The facts are, those people who I am watching through curated Instagram posts may be progressing to a place where I imagine myself to go, but maybe they don’t have the same workload as I do or limitations on time. Or maybe they are feeling the very same as I am but they just hide it. Or maybe I am going down a completely different path than they are. My journey will be totally different that theirs and as a result maybe my destination (if there is one) will be different also as its more authentic to me. I suppose I just admire what they do and should recognise that instead of connecting it to my self worth!!! My first AHA moment!!!
I feel like this is a reminder for me to refocus on this particular area in my life and decide is this important to me? Do I actually want this or is it just social media telling me I want it? No, it’s important to me and so I want to set goals, record little wins, and intentionally set time aside to allow me to progress in this area OR maybe I will over time decide that this isn’t for me and I park it for some time.
I know though, that this is something I want to work on. This is something I love to do but I have just lost focus on it in my life.
What’s Next:
As of today, I am going to set some goals for myself and intentionally measure these by recording some wins along the way. I will only need 2 hours a week to do this task, so I’ll calendar block that into my week and look forward to it. Also, maybe in the short term I need to remove the triggers from my social media feed OR maybe I keep seeing them and use it as a reminder of what I want and that I want to take action instead of seeing it as a failure?
I also do think it’s a sign that I am doing too much and need to remove anything that I no longer want to work on from my priorities. This is a nice reminder for me. Glad I worked through that as I really was feeling like I was about to spiral a few minutes ago.
Today’s Take aways
- Awareness is key
- Use comparison as a reminder for prioritising what is important to you
- It’s ok to remove things from your life as long as it’s with your best intention
- Comparison is often admiration overdone!!
- If you get annoyed by something someone else is doing, take control of it and set yourself little goals, record the wins and intentionally set time aside for it.
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